My journey to Gluten Free'dom

For those of you who live gluten free I think you will agree with me that you're life is divided into two very unique periods - your Pre-GF life and your Post-GF life.  For our friends and relatives it may be hard to grasp and understand exactly how drastically our lives change with a celiac diagnosis.  Don't get me wrong, for us the physical changes far outweigh the challenging sacrifices, but others on the outside looking in may not be able to fully comprehend what we have gone through.  This post is for them, our friends and family.  In honor of Celiac Awareness Month, I share with you my journey to what I like to call Gluten Free'dom.




Me right before my diagnosis, I was 94 pnds

As long as I can remember I was a little slip of a thing, didn't grow very tall, couldn't gain weight.  My family called me "magra" meaning "skinny" in Italian as a nickname.  My dad would sing the song "Skinny Lena" to me.  People envied the fact that I could eat anything and not gain an ounce.  But around 13/14 years old, my energy would lag, I would get dizzy, I bruised terribly from the smallest bump, I caught EVERY cold, flu, etc around me and it kept getting worse.  By 18, I was hospitalized because I got the flu so bad that I couldn't keep anything down; my sugar and blood pressure dropped dangerously low.  They wanted to send me to a psychologist!  They insisted that I was hiding an anorexia issue. 


It seemed like each year brought new symptoms, my hands and feet tingled but I was told it was just bad circulation.  My period was horribly irregular and every method they tried just made me feel worse.  Every morning I woke up sick to my stomach and the nausea would come back off and on through out the day.  Finally 3 years ago, it got so bad I was embarrassed to go in public.  Not to be vulgar, but I didn't know when an attack of diarrhea or gas would hit me!  I hated to eat; I would have stabbing knife-like pains in my intestines for hours.  To be honest, no one wanted to use the bathroom after me and that's about the nicest way I can put it!  My hair, skin, and nails were dry, dull and brittle.  I had pain in my joints and back.  I felt like I was 80 years old instead of my 20's!


I kept going to the doctor.  My iron was low...I was calcium deficient...the list went on, but adding vitamins, eating healthy and exercising weren't helping...  Then one visit the doctor wasn't available, instead I saw the physician's assistant.  At this point I was sure they were going to tell me I was terminal - I felt that awful!  She was young, fresh out of college which in my case was my saving grace.  As soon as she heard my list of symptoms she asked if I had been tested for celiac disease.  In my head I'm thinking "Yup, this is it! I'd better start writing my will!"  She briefly explained what celiac disease is and I thought, "Okay it's not terminal, we can deal with this!" - At this point I wanted to feel better and as long as it wasn't fatal, I didn't care what it was going to take!  That was until I got home and decided to google "Celiac Disease".  Then the reality of what this would mean to my life started to sink in.  But I held out hope, maybe this was all just a coincidence.  Nah, it couldn't be little ol'gluten making me this sick, could it?! 


Then the results were in and I had to face the reality that I would have to be gluten free from this point on.  *Cue meltdown*  I went from relief to finally knowing what the problem was to complete basket case in 2.5 seconds...  As far as I was concerned my life was over.  I would never be able to eat out again, never be able to eat the fresh Italian bread that would come into the restaurant in the early morning delivery, never be able to eat cake and cookies and...I just kept going, everywhere I looked there was something I couldn't eat!  By day 2, I was in a funk so deep I could barely crack a smile.  Not to mention my wedding was in 3 months and now all I could think was, "I can't even eat the food at my wedding!!!"  By day 3, my fiance had had enough!  He decided to make it his personal mission to find EVERYTHING on earth that I still COULD eat.  By the end of the week, it became contagious!  I "devoured" anything and everything I could find on the internet about celiac and gluten free living.  At the time I was back living with my parents temporarily until our wedding so I printed off tons of material on cross contamination and passed it out to my family.  To this day, the cross contamination checklist I printed off for the refrigerator hangs on my fridge.


My family was truly supportive (and continue to be) which made my transition that much easier.  My fiance and I got married 3 months later; our wedding was catered by our fathers who worked tirelessly to make food for 200+ people and make sure I had GF versions of everything!  My now husband took it upon himself to agree to eat 100% GF while in our home to prevent the risk of cross contamination.  On our honeymoon he ate gluten free with me and if we couldn't find something GF right away, he waited to eat until I could eat.  That's when you know you have a great man :)  He's been my inspiration through all of this new chapter in my life.




My son and I when he was 3 months old

 It's only been 2 years this past April for me, but I feel like an entire lifetime has passed by in that time.  I've relearned how to eat, cook, shop, eat-out, travel...and so much more.  I feel like a million bucks and last February I got the best gift ever, I got pregnant with my precious little boy!  My hope is he'll outgrow his milk allergy and won't have to live with a permanent food allergy.  I know in a lot of ways gluten free and dairy free are a better choice health wise, but I'd like him to be able to experience food without reservations first before he makes his own lifestyle choices.  Would I ever go back?  Do I ever miss gluten foods?  Sometimes I imagine my favorite gluten foods...Cheez Its are one that I miss a lot...but then I remember how sick I felt all the time and how good I feel now!  Sure, living GF has it's challenges; finally having a healthy body full of energy and life far outweighs any of them!  So the next time you think about asking your GF friend "Can't you just have a little taste?", remember even a little bit of poison can kill you!  We make this choice so we can live and live well.  This Celiac Awareness Month take the time to go out and try something gluten free with your celiac friend, you might just be surprised! :)